Obviously I’ve been failing at this lately. I’ve been keeping track of my pictures…it’s just the posting that’s lacking.
This was the outfit I wore to my interview today. It was actually a second interview (which was actually a fourth interview which was actually composed of multiple mini interviews as was the “first” interview-which was really the second interview). Need I say the interview process has been slightly complicated? This is the first real bite I’ve had after applying to SO MANY jobs since September. It’s really been a very humbling experience. To be perfectly honest, I guess I’m kind of spoiled and have been more used to getting the things I want than I realized.
Anyway, so I’ve been having these interviews for this job. It’s a program assistant position at an organization for the clinical research of oncologists. So…I’m fairly qualified for it but to be honest it’s just not what I want to do. It’s one of those “it makes sense to take it” but really…I just want to go write in Boston. (That’s hard to admit, especially in a forum in which people can judge what a horrible writer I am).
This is one of those I’ve-been-pretty-stressed-about-this-lately things that I need time to process before I can talk about it constructively.
I was feeling pretty stressed yesterday about a lot of different things. I’m having to make some decisions (or I’m being barred from pursuing things I’d rather have as a result of past decisions) and that’s always been a difficult process for me. I don’t like the idea of “closing doors” or feeling like I’m putting myself on a path that I don’t really want to be on and I’m not sure that if I start down it I’ll be able to hop off again.
So I’m stewing over these thoughts and feeling a little doomy (yes, doomy) and I happened to take a look at this collage my good friend Candace made me for my graduation. Candace and I have had a lot of conversations about these decision dilemmas and it’s appropriate enough that her words of wisdom should come through to me this evening. “TAKE A BREAK” was my main focus of this picture. As my sister once told me: “sometimes you just need to calm your mind.” For someone like me that is especially true and especially difficult. My brain is often like a jackrabbit on crack, pounding into my psyche relentlessly until I feel almost paralyzed by its relentless progressions. So that’s what I’m trying to train myself to do: “be still”.
Additionally, I noticed that “adventure”, “oh the places you’ll go”, and “epic” were framing this break-taking advice. Remembering that Candace, someone whom I admire do dearly, has confidence in me and the places I’ll “go” made me feel better in and of itself but my thoughts, of course, went deeper (jackrabbit on crack remember?) Perhaps if I allow myself to be still more often things will become more clear and I’ll see that there really ARE adventure and epic moments for any who seek them. If I want an adventurous life, if I want that great story to tell, I have to starting making those adventures for myself. To my knowledge there are not many beyond the hobbits of the Shire upon whom adventure is simply thrust.
Just something I thought about. I’ll proofread this later.
This is my computer. You’ve already read the story in 1a (maybe?). I’ve resolved. This is happening.
P.S. yeah…I’m a little embarrassed that facebook is up on the screen but this is supposed to be about honesty, right? To be perfectly honest: I use facebook. Almost daily.
So it’s a long story but I was in a car accident the other day (not my fault!) and I’ve been feeling the after effects. The point is though: isn’t it dangerous to do the exchange of information the police has you do? The other driver now has the address of where I live…does anyone else find this a little scary?
Beyond this…the accident was an extra spoonful on a plate that already felt a little too full. I’m slowly working my way through all of it but let’s just say I can expect a constant belly ache lasting into at least the near future. (sh)It happens.
Resolutions:
1. Keep in better touch with my friends and family (the phone). Friends and family: baby steps people, expect more emails!
2. Drink more tea (well, at the least the tea pot is pretty).
3. Cook more (the stove). Ok, yeah, I’m kidding about that one. The stove was just convenient and I liked how it was reflected in the coffee mug.
1a
So…yes, true to form, my one-a-day project, though decidedly easier to swallow than the multivitamin, has seemingly fallen amongst those resolutions that never come true. I forgot to take day 2’s photo, I keep thinking about sentiments I’d WANT to include in my day but don’t actually (i.e. world peace…really I spend most of my time thinking about how cold it is and how much I could go for a plate of nachos). But I can’t seem to let this resolution go. I’m officially plucking its file from between “go to the gym” and “eat more carrots”; I’m going to actually do it!
It’s ironic that just as I was resolving this I went to upload my first few pictures and resolutely shoved my memory card… into the cd slot in my computer…oops. After spending the better part of an hour shaking, prodding, and smacking (my forehead), said card has successfully (?) been REMOVED and I am ready to go.
If you’re along for the ride then you’re probably one of the poor souls I’ve somehow convinced to take interest (Mom, I’m talking to you). If you make it past day 3- kudos.
Here’s what I’m hoping for with this “project”: 1. Take more pictures! I love taking pictures and I don’t seem to include enough space for it in my shockingly regular life. 2. Find a piece of every day that’s worth sharing with someone other than my coffee cup. They say every day is a gift worth appreciating; I say every day is a photo worth taking. Regardless it’s all fodder for the tell all, yes? So here’s to enjoying my daily fodder in the hopes that there actually IS a story in there somewhere.
